Bluntly put, I'm tired of being dissed.
I'm nice enough that apparently, people believe they can sweep me under the rug at their convenience and I'll be OK with it. "That Jen, she'll understand."
Bah.
The problem is, that it's happening to me too much lately, and I'm getting a complex. Worse, I'm getting pissed.
I don't think I'm being paranoid.
As just one example, I called the local Barack Obama office this morning and asked them if they had any yard signs. "Yep!" was the response. I asked for their hours so I could go pick one up, and the lady told me what they were.
So this afternoon, we drove up there and I hopped out to get a sign. It was very crowded inside - I think there was a group preparing to go canvass some neighborhoods. I made my way into the office and a black gentleman asked me what I needed.
"I need to pick up a yard sign" I said.
He looked me over. "Are you on a list to pick one up?"
I was puzzled. "Uh, I called this morning and asked and was told I could pick one up."
He picked up a yard sign, and looked at me again. "Let me go talk to these people about it" he said.
Just then, another gentleman walked in (also black). The first man paused. "Hey," he greeted. "Can I help you?"
The second gentlman pointed to some brochures. "I was wondering if I could pick up some of these."
"SURE!!!" the first gentleman said. "Do you need any yard signs? And can I get you some bumper stickers?"
(Me, thinking -> What the hell?)
He then proceeded to chat with the the second guy for a good 5-10 minutes, all the while holding the yard sign that he was so unwilling to give me. I positioned myself so he could see me. He turned. I did it again and forced him to catch my eye. After he had finished chatting with gentleman #2, I stared right at him, pretty much speechless at this point. He handed me the sign and said, "Why don't you just take this."
Was I not the right color? Not the right gender? Again - What the hell?
It's a good thing I'm such a strong Barack Obama supporter. This certainly doesn't change the way I feel about him or his candidacy. It did, however, give me pause. I've never viewed his candidacy in the context of race. It's just not been an issue for me. But today did make me (re)realize the ownership that many blacks feel toward Barack Obama. Actually, I can't blame them. But I also don't think it's right or appropriate. I don't think Barack Obama sees this election as a black/white thing. Perhaps I'm being naive.
In any case, it was also just another example of me being made to feel like an afterthought in the lives of people I know. Gah. I'm about done with that. I deserve better.
6 comments:
I've been "invisible" like that too many times in my life too. It sucks! Glad you got your yard sign after all though.
I'd be pissed, too.
Awesome that you stayed and made your presence known. I probably would have slunk away.
And you DO deserve better.
Wow, that's surprising to hear.
Jen, this does happen and I'm convinced that it is gender-related. It's even worse among immigrants from esp. the mid-East.
Honestly, I've had it happen just far too many times to believe any different. Even worse, it's often unconscious. I'm glad you persisted.
I've become at times even more vocal. I was sitting waiting for gas the other morning and *every single man* was waited on and went his merry way. When I hear the (Pakistani probably--who greeted me with "Gimme card" !!) man waiting on me chatting up the man that just arrived, I get FURIOUS and I hop out of the car and TAKE out the gas nozzle (remember in NJ we don't do our own gas)...and I GRAB the credit card. He comes running over, very upset. And I tell him "I have to get to work like all these men --I have to get to work like everyone else". He swore it had just clicked off but I felt he was much too relaxed waiting on me. It's not your imagination. They make the woman wait. white or not.
Lynne
Thank you asdis and j...
Mare - I know!!!
Lynne, I'm boiling mad at imagining you sitting in your car at the pump, needing to get to work, while the attendant leisurely chats with other guys. (I lived in New Jersey for 16 months and remember the lack of self-serve gas there!)
You may be right about it being a gender thing. I've run into things like this before - being ignored because I was a woman. This one stunned me because it was at a campaign office where we're all clearly there for one purpose. It's not like this was his JOB, to wait on me. He was volunteering to encourage folks to "get the word out," presumably because he thinks that's important. You'd think people like me would be making his "job" easier. The second gentleman was well aware of what was going on, too and was embarrassed. He kept looking at me awkwardly. Too bad guy #1 didn't take the hint.
Oh well. Like asdis said, I've got the sign now in the end.
J.... I'm not saying that you're naive at all, but, just from what I've heard from coming from people of color, it's very much about race and obviously from a McCain standpoint, it's also about gender. It's always been a boy's club. Always. Yes, both race and gender specific politics pisses me off. I don't get into politics, but, just by who we all have elected in the past, it's definitely a boy's club and that is just not right. Even if we elected someone on merit, I think that merit wise, some of the female candidates would hands down win almost every election.
trouble.
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