Daughter E woke up with a cold this morning so I told her I'd stay home with her. (Yes I have a proposal due and papers to write and research to do but whatever...). I decided early on that I was going to REALLY take this as a "sick day." No cleaning, no laundry, no mowing the lawn or refinishing the floors on a whim. I spent all day long lying on my bed reading and napping. I got up a few times to play the piano or check on E, but that was it.
I used to have days like that - with no point to them - all the time. Summertimes when I was growing up? I'd spend all morning lounging in my pajamas and all afternoon floating in the pool. No plans. No to-do list. In college, particularly between semesters/quarters or during summers, I reveled in listless days. Mare and I could spend all day sprawled across our beds in the bizarro apartment doing nothing but talking. We'd take a walk over to 7-11 for a bag of M&Ms if we happened to get hungry. I even remember having some of those days when I started work, prior to marriage and kids. As it is now, I can't imagine waking up and thinking "Hm, what do I have going on today? Uh - nothing!". There is always that list looming.
I don't think it's a bad thing. It's really a requirement now that I'm more or less in charge of several individual lives, plus a dog, an eldery cat, a gecko, and a hamster. It's an entirely different approach to life. And it's not like I don't make time for fun and relaxation on a regular basis now anyway. It's just that they're on the list. Maybe the difference is when we're younger, we're still naive enough to unconsciously feel that our life is boundless (***see note at bottom***). Time felt like it stood still all the time. The difference wasn't so much having days that weren't planned out, but it was the mindset. No reason to plan. Living by the seat of my pants was the norm.
I don't really want to return to that approach to life. Even now, I'm back to viewing today as one day lost that I really needed to work on my proposal. But it was nice to spontaneously dip my toes into those times again, sandwiched between days where I'm making 30 phone calls for the PTA after baseball games and before bathtime, working Field Day at the school, paying bills, making trips to dentists, doctors, and veterinarians, and trying to be both an employee and a sometimes at home mom - which are, out of necessity - on the list.
(***note at bottom***)
Or something.
I used to have days like that - with no point to them - all the time. Summertimes when I was growing up? I'd spend all morning lounging in my pajamas and all afternoon floating in the pool. No plans. No to-do list. In college, particularly between semesters/quarters or during summers, I reveled in listless days. Mare and I could spend all day sprawled across our beds in the bizarro apartment doing nothing but talking. We'd take a walk over to 7-11 for a bag of M&Ms if we happened to get hungry. I even remember having some of those days when I started work, prior to marriage and kids. As it is now, I can't imagine waking up and thinking "Hm, what do I have going on today? Uh - nothing!". There is always that list looming.
I don't think it's a bad thing. It's really a requirement now that I'm more or less in charge of several individual lives, plus a dog, an eldery cat, a gecko, and a hamster. It's an entirely different approach to life. And it's not like I don't make time for fun and relaxation on a regular basis now anyway. It's just that they're on the list. Maybe the difference is when we're younger, we're still naive enough to unconsciously feel that our life is boundless (***see note at bottom***). Time felt like it stood still all the time. The difference wasn't so much having days that weren't planned out, but it was the mindset. No reason to plan. Living by the seat of my pants was the norm.
I don't really want to return to that approach to life. Even now, I'm back to viewing today as one day lost that I really needed to work on my proposal. But it was nice to spontaneously dip my toes into those times again, sandwiched between days where I'm making 30 phone calls for the PTA after baseball games and before bathtime, working Field Day at the school, paying bills, making trips to dentists, doctors, and veterinarians, and trying to be both an employee and a sometimes at home mom - which are, out of necessity - on the list.
(***note at bottom***)
Maybe the difference is when we're younger, we're still naive enough to unconsciously feel that our life is boundless.You know, I'm thinking naive is the wrong word there. That implies it is the wrong way to live, and I don't think that's necessarily so. Maybe I should have written "we're not uptight enough to stop believing our life is boundless."
Or something.
4 comments:
Keep pumping funds into that 401K. We're in the "naive" state again, and it's worth working toward.
I think there's a real art to doing nothing. I remember those days of nothing growing up. I was a kid who *needed* the time and space to look up at the clouds and imagine shapes and scenes. I was lucky enough to have some.
I'm trying to give a little of that to my kids, especially during the summer. C is like me and really needs that down time. M needs a little more structure, but not too much. S - well, still to be seen.
Your post could segue into an interesting discussion about overscheduled kids....
Yes, nothing time. It's sort of a necessity for me these days, because I get very tired at times. I end up engrossed in a book, or napping outside. Even working at my laptop is relaxed...I think when we are young, you just feel so much time in front of you--you revel in it, squander it...because you can:-). Time is more precious now...and as you show, more full.
LT
I really know what you mean.
It's necessary to take days like that every so often. It's good to relax and ponder and rest... I hope you get a chance to do it again soon.
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