It's the way of life.

Writer's block. Blogger's block. Whatever. That's what I've had this week.

It's not for a lack of things that happen. Oh no. Life is very busy around here.

This week I've been continuing my jump into the very large shoes of WONDERBOY (and I have very small feet, comparatively) so work has been a cornicopia of correspondence with folks scattered all over the world who are looking for just a "few more" sensitivity model runs. I won't lie - I enjoy the fact that I am now the go-to person. But I am acutely aware that I do not in any way fit the shoes that were here previous to me. I miss WONDERBOY horribly. I am still not OK with this latest change in my work situation. If I were an assertive type, this would be the opportunity for me to mark my place in this field. This is the time that I should step to the task and show my mettle. But I am so much not about making a name for myself and so much more about just loving the opportunity to immerse my work-self with highly intelligent people because it's stimulating for me. I'm not in this for the assertive me. I'm in it for the selfish me. Does that make any sense?
It'll all be ok. I just miss the way it used to be. Whine.

I played on the parents' volleyball team at the annual Parent versus Teacher volleyball game at my kids' elementary school. You did read about it in the sports section, didn't you? On the off chance it didn't make it to the national news, unfortunately, the parents lost. Just barely. 1 games to 2, 2 point difference in the 3rd game. And for the record, that had nothing to do with the fact that my daughter's teacher threatened me with failing my little darling when I was across the net from her and I motioned to her that she was going DOOOOOWN. Uh-uh. I have my priorities straight, and I don't play for fun. The best thing, by far, is that I did not embarrass my kids. Quite to the contrary, they came up to me, mouths agape in stunned near-silence and were barely able to squeak out, "Mom? You were GOOD!!" Hooo-hahhhh. Me. My experiece with the infamous Barking Geese (princeton), the Rebels (texas a&m) and the A.S.Demons (current work situation) pays off, finally.

It's not for lack of national news that is pinging on my personal radar.
NASA astronaut mess? Yes, that has been making me sad, for all parties involved. I keep imagining that with just a little tweaking, that could be me. I played with the idea of becoming an astronaut once. (the fact that I am terrified of flying pretty much screwed up that career choice though). Seriously, I did "think" about it in the sense that I realized that was something I could go after if I really wanted to. And I am human, and I can picture myself cracking under the right circumstances and doing something really stupid that very likely would be more an expression of my own insecurities and much less a path to actually harming another person. Anyway. I can see how easy it is to screw up, and to be lucky enough, or more accurately, unlucky enough, to have chosen a particular career that your screw-ups are newsworthy- to have your mistakes deemed worthy of national press? Heavens. Funny. I almost feel guilty that I feel more empathy for the astronaut than the woman who was stalked. I shouldn't. But I do because I can see that for a few flutters of a butterfly's wing, that could be me.

We're all human, ultimately.

DH is in Sioux Falls, SD again. He'll be back Wednesday and then we go skiing and then he'll go back for another week. They'd be enormously happy, apparently, if they were able to convince him to move there. You think I'm holding him back by telling him "We'll miss you?" Love is love is love but...

We had our Survivor night party tonight down at B&K's house. It was great. B and I both independently decided it was time to go with healthy snacks so we had carrots and strawberries and broccoli and no-fat ranch dressing instead of brie and nuts and chocoloate. But always in the background for me is that this is the last season of Survivor that I will have my friends here with me. It's a done deal - they're moving to Wisconsin this summer. I am going to try to approach this as just another wiggle in life's current. I'm not LOSING my friends - Q and E are not LOSING their second set of parents. E is not LOSING the best friend she's had since infancy. They're "just" moving. But SHIT. You know?

It's Life.