I have an announcement to make. Today, the imposter police have been temporarily pushed out of my realm. Temporarily, for sure. But still.
The imposter police (tm) frequently visit many women scientists I know. Actually, they seem to have permanently set up house with many of them. They are a busy lot. I have ceased to be amazed and now only laugh when women colleagues of mine confide in me of the feeling that they are not as accomplished or as smart as people seem to think, and that they live in fear that the day is coming that their incompetence will be revealed for the world to see. We all seem to be living on borrowed time. I thought it was only me for so many years.
But this morning I got word that one of my published papers won the award for outstanding paper from my division this year, and then went on to be awarded 3rd place out of my entire research center. (!!! Which is especially pleasing to me since my field of work - atmospheric sciences - is a small fraction of my primarily aeronautical research center. We don't get many of these awards out of my division).
To make it better, I was actually quite proud of that paper. It was one of those that felt "finished" when it made it out the door. How fun that it won some awards!!
So stay out the door for a while, ye imposter police. I'm sure you'll be back, and in reality, part of me is so used to having you around as part of my life that you've become a little bit comfortable and very expected. In fact, you've become a part of my work persona. But I'm learning to use you as ammunition for pushing myself to do better work now (sometimes) instead of always letting you make me cower in the corner. I don't miss you all that much now, but I won't be surprised or even sad when you return. I've got an award to bash in you in the head with if you get too suffocatingly close now.
The imposter police (tm) frequently visit many women scientists I know. Actually, they seem to have permanently set up house with many of them. They are a busy lot. I have ceased to be amazed and now only laugh when women colleagues of mine confide in me of the feeling that they are not as accomplished or as smart as people seem to think, and that they live in fear that the day is coming that their incompetence will be revealed for the world to see. We all seem to be living on borrowed time. I thought it was only me for so many years.
As an aside, I do know a few men scientists that have admitted to me that they are familiar with the imposter police. I wonder if they haunt men less frequently, or if men are just more loathe to admit to knowing them.So yes, the imposter police continue to haunt me weekly, if not daily, for impersonating a scientist. Usually.
But this morning I got word that one of my published papers won the award for outstanding paper from my division this year, and then went on to be awarded 3rd place out of my entire research center. (!!! Which is especially pleasing to me since my field of work - atmospheric sciences - is a small fraction of my primarily aeronautical research center. We don't get many of these awards out of my division).
To make it better, I was actually quite proud of that paper. It was one of those that felt "finished" when it made it out the door. How fun that it won some awards!!
So stay out the door for a while, ye imposter police. I'm sure you'll be back, and in reality, part of me is so used to having you around as part of my life that you've become a little bit comfortable and very expected. In fact, you've become a part of my work persona. But I'm learning to use you as ammunition for pushing myself to do better work now (sometimes) instead of always letting you make me cower in the corner. I don't miss you all that much now, but I won't be surprised or even sad when you return. I've got an award to bash in you in the head with if you get too suffocatingly close now.
8 comments:
Congrats J! That is quite impressive. See? That's what happens when you DON'T choose a blow-off major like Marketing :)
Wow! Good work! You are just as smart and capable as I always thought you were.
And I know exactly where the imposter police are. I was just sitting down to blog about how they won't leave me alone right now! How funny is that!
I'm sorry, seester. I didn't mean to send them over to you. Don't worry. They'll come back over my way soon enough and leave you alone for a while. We can share them.
Wow... congratulations!
I knew you were brilliant; evidently it's clear to your colleagues and peers as well!
I like that phrase, "impostor police." I'm going to use it.
Thank you Ruthie!
And thank you to you too, jeepgirl - you are so funny.
Wow, congrats, PM! We all need our external validation sometimes.
(ps--hiring?)
Awesome.
I am not at all surprised, however. :-)
Oh purrty puuulease, can I read your paper? I don't think that I would ever have doubted in a million years that anything that you did/do wouldn't be recognized as genius, PM. You were certainly marked for great things. I love learning from your blog. There's an art to explaining to idiots with just a general idea of what you're trying to explain and it makes pefect common sense... That seems to be a priceless trait that only a few people of your intelligence know.
trouble.
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