the end of an era

I've worked at my place of employment for 19 years now. Yes, that many years (as an aside, how in the h*ll did that happen?). That's nineteen years, in case you need another reminder. Here's a picture of me at that place in which I spend such a big part of my life (taken today by gaochen simply because he noticed I had my camera at work).



I actually love this place. This is where I get to exercise my scientific creativity, learn something new every day, and be around some of the smartest people on the planet. I have the greatest job ever, in my oh so humble opinion.

For 17 of those years, one of those smartest people on the planet that I had the privilege to eat lunch with and talk with daily was my friend B. I was just a pup way back when B first came to work at **** with me. Mutual friend DF (who is still a dear friend now) and I helped B assimilate into life here in the southeast US way back when. From the beginning, B and I have never had an "only" work relationship - we hung out and were friends from the start. We would spend weekdays discussing atmospheric chemistry and dynamics and air quality and campaign issues and spend evenings and weekends going through pregnancies, adoptions, raising infants, toddlers, elementary-aged children, and all the assorted activities that come with being friends and extended family. Thanksgivings. Halloweens. Christmases. Birthdays. Children Starting school. Chemistry. Mechanisms. Publications.
On weekdays, we'd be at our computers and on weekends/evenings we'd be with our families - very often together. Our offices were always just a few doors away,and our houses were within a 1.5 minute walk. I don't know that there's anyone who is as assimilated into all aspects of my life as B is.

DH and I decided long ago that B and his wife K were the perfect choice to have in our wills as the family to care for the most precious things on this earth to us in the event of our deaths - our children. That should tell you how I feel about B personally. And at work, B is a superstar. He's one of the "names" in my field. He's a go-getter. He gets things done. He formed a formidable modeling team. He is the cream that rose to the top. I enjoy the comfort of having a close friend at work. I recognize the shuffle of his sandals as he walks down the hall. I like that I know what his reaction will be to almost any event. I know what music he likes and I know what he wants for his kids. I take enormous comfort in knowing that he is not only in my corner scientifically, but is my lifelong friend. We're not simply co-workers and we're not "just" family. We're a lot like siblings. We bicker and have our "moments," but I am incredibly protective of him and would do just about anything to help him out if he needed it.

Today was his last day at work with me. He's with NOAA now, and within a few days, he and his family will be living in Wisconsin.

There will be no more pulling the wagon down to the cul-de-sac full of pumpkins for our pumpkin-carving parties at Halloween or no more extended family get-togethers for holidays or impromptu spaghetti dinners on do-nothing days (well, not with B&K at least!! They'll still happen... You all know I don't believe in god but nevertheless god sent my family new neighbors that we adore at just the perfect time). No more traipsing down to B&K's house with a bottle wine for "Survivor" parties (in my pajamas noless, a few times). No more talks with B as we commute to work together. No more walks in the park as I angst about my career and he counsels me simultaneously as we marvel over the miracles that are our children. I'm going to miss him enormously.

(I haven't even written about B's wife K and the loss that I will feel there - that's just too hard to write about! or the loss that my children will feel. Lordy. Life sucks at the same time that it glows.)

As Dr. Suess said: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.