parenting

Today was my daughter's Ultimate Frisbee class after school. For what it's worth, this class is EXACTLY as I'd predicted it would be when E first announced to me she wanted to take it. There are 40 kids in this class, and 38 of them are boys. About 35 of them are 4th and 5th grade boys. E is having the time of her life. (Yes, I am afraid. I am very afraid.)

Anyway, I went up to the school to pick up her hot and sweaty and smiley self. She settled down in the van and we started the 7 minute drive home.

"Mom?"

(uh oh. There is this particular tone of voice that she uses and when I hear it I know I will be amused, infinitely entertained, and ultimately left wondering how it is possible that this child came to be part of my gene pool.)

"Mom, you know when Q gets upset and cries and you get mad at him?"

"Yes." (I will not go into this particular issue here. Suffice it to say that Q continues to delight me with his intellect and leave me gray-haired and feeling totally incapable of parenting him with his inability to stifle ANY emotion that he feels at ANY particular point in time).

"Well mom. You really need to support him and let him know that you know how he feels."

(I kind of shake my head and continue driving.)

"I mean, you need to be firm and let him know what he's doing wrong, but he really knows that already so he needs you to be firm and ALSO he needs to know that you're not mad at him. I mean, it's like he needs a gentle push up up up up to help him get into control. He already feels bad and knows you'll be mad at him for crying so you need to say, 'Q, I UNDERSTAND how you feel and you're right to feel that way, but I need you to stop crying. I need you to pull yourself together.' Like that, Mom! You need to let him know that you love him at the same time that you let him know what he's doing wrong."

(I was pretty much speechless at this point.)

She continued on and on and on the rest of the way home, full of examples about what the best way to react would be under various situations, and she was so full of compassion and wisdom that it took all I had not to laugh because. GOD. She's EIGHT!!!!
It was particularly hard not to laugh when after two beats of silence she said, "Mom? If you try all of this stuff about five times or so and it doesn't work? Then just forget that we had this conversation." Actually, I did laugh at that. Pretty hard.

We drove up into the driveway, and stunned into silence, (you tell me who wouldn't be after a 7 minute long lecture on proper parenting skills by an 8 year old), I got out of the van.

"Mom?" she said. "Actually, you're doing pretty good with this."

"Go on into the house." I told her. "I need to go talk to Mary." (neighbor).

At which point I walked next door and asked Mary if the world had been overtaken by aliens.

I have NO IDEA where all that came from or why and in particular how she came up with that last little barb about "forget this conversation ever took place" which was so witty and funny and so un-like an 8 year old (who is usually a normal 8 year old twerp who won't go to bed when she's supposed to), that well. What to say?

This is why I had kids, I guess.

At least now I know how to handle Q.