grandparents' day

Thank you to my neighbor Mary for reminding me that today was grandparents' day. I called my 98 year old grandmother (she'll be 99 in December). She still lives by herself, and can't hear that well, but we were able to work out a good conversation somehow. We talked about her sister's 100th birthday party last month (did I mention I have a strong gene pool?). She talked to me about how her air conditioner went out while it was 100 degrees, and how she fell today but there was no harm done because her son and son in law just happened to be there replacing her air conditioner. Mostly, it was when I said "I love you" and she said, "I love you, Jennifer," that I felt the connection.

Mamaw and I, we are from different worlds. Mamaw was very concerned when I was in my late 20s and was still not married because in the world in which she grew up, that was a travesty and I would have been rendered an "old maid." She passed no personal judgement on me, I don't believe, but was worried for me because she loved me. In my world, it was typical, though I didn't necessarily know that at the time. She is very religious. Her church and her god have always been the center of her life. I shared that with her at one point, and that was a strong connection between the two of us, but I am now an atheist. She doesn't know that. There are some things that are much more important than sharing your "principles" and are much stronger than idealism. Love and respect are two of those things. My sharing my current feelings with her would serve absolutely no good purpose. Although we were created from lives in very different worlds, I feel her blood in my own. She is a musician, and so is my father, So are my aunt, my cousins, so am I and so are my children. Mamaw worries so much about what people think of her. So do I. She loves me unconditionally, as do I her. When my grandfather died several years ago, I flew to Texas for the funeral. I remember walking into the funeral parlor at the viewing and seeing her sitting in one of the pews, while people were milling all around and talking. I went to sit beside her and held her hand. I was trying to figure out what to say to someone who just lost her husband of 75 years. She looked at me and leaned in to tell me something, presumably profound and insightful. "I don't know who any of these people are!!" she confessed, resulting in us giggling for a while. That night, I spent the night at her house and she wanted me to sleep in bed with her. She labored to crawl up into bed and after a long while, finally made it and laid back into the pillows. She looked at me. "I'm pathetic," she confessed.
We don't get to talk often and see each other even less often. But she is my grandmother. I am here because of her. So much of my childhood contains her in my memories. I love you, Mamaw.

By the way mom and dad...your grandchildren were not able to call you on grandparent's day only because you are traipsing all over Idaho and are enjoying a (hopefully) wonderful vacation together. I would have it NO OTHER WAY!!! Your grandchildren love you dearly and will talk to you when you return.