Q came bouncing into the kitchen a few days ago to grab a drink. "Hey mom, you know Hannukah and Kawanzaa? They aren't real holidays like Christmas is."
My heart skipped a beat and I took in a shallow breath to hold. "Ahh, ok. What makes you say that?"
He went on to tell me that Hannukah is a pretty minor Jewish holiday ("I mean, it's not like Rosh Hashanna or anything") and Kawanzaa is really based on a harvest festival. He explained that christmas was a major Christian holiday but Hannukah was really just a little celebration for Jewish people.
I could breathe again. And I was very grateful to my friend Paige, who is Jewish and is very active in our school, who was invited to talk to the students about Hannukah. She'd laid it out there for them very factually. E could even describe to me the battle that took place between the Macabee Jews and the Greeks (Syrians?) that lead to the miracle of the oil which is celebrated at Hannukah. Thank goodness my kids don't think that Hannukah is the Jewish Christmas.
The presumption by a lot of us in the U.S. that religious freedom means equal emphasis is just wrong, I think. It's not going to happen. After an extended discussion with the moms on my email list, many of which are Jews, I do not believe there IS an acceptable solution to the conundrum as to how to correctly recognize a minority religion by any given society. Some Jews were upset by the bombardment of "Merry Christmas" greetings that they receive upon every trip out into public this time of year. They are tired of Christmas music and Santa talk. And I get that. I do. It is presumptuous to assume that every person out there at the mall is celebrating Christmas. Many other well-intentioned folks get it, too. So we've ended up with displays of the menorah aside the christmas tree. Stores hang banners that proclaim "Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah!" "Seasons Greetings and Happy Holidays is used in an attempt to acknowledge there is more out there than Christmas.
But in reality, this kind of atmosphere feels so contrived. So condescending. "Yes, yes, here is our recognition to your holiday too." And it's not even a major Jewish holiday. It just happens to fall near the winter solstice, as does Christmas. "Where is the recognition for Rosh Hashanna? For Yom Kippur?" some of my Jewish friends are asking.
Well. Look. Jews make up about 1% of the U.S. population. It's quite unreasonable to expect broad public acknowledgement of each holiday of each minority religion. Minority religions are not limited to Jews. We've got Islam, Hinduism, Pagan religions, and heaven knows how many others.
The other option is to erase the widespread celebration of Christmas here and essentially spiritually santize our public selves. Whew. This kind of talk is why "PC-ness" is so despised. Not only is that not even close to practical, but I don't WANT it to happen. Look, if Jewish-owned businesses want to celebrate Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur, that's fantastic! I'll join in. I'll be happy to receive whatever religious greeting is handed to me at whatever time of year, particularly if it is one given with goodwill and peace. No way will there ever be the emphasis on these holidays as on christmas or easter, but that's just because of statistics. When more than 85% of a population is Christian, and a large number of the remaining population celebrates Christmas as a cultural holiday (which is where I fit in), it's going to stand way out. There's no fighting the numbers.
What we can strive for is an environment where all religions feel comfortable in celebrating their particular holidays. Where Christians can wish fellow shoppers "Merry Christmas" without worrying about whether they will offend the recipient. Where the recipient can smile warmly and respond "Thank you! Happy Hannukah!" or "Happy Kawanzaa!" with true goodwill and without a hint of irritation. Where businesses are flexible enough to allow days off for Jewish employees during Passover, or for Muslim employees during Ramadan, or Pagans wishing to celebrate the solstice or equinox holidays. I don't want a world sanitized of religion. I don't wish for Christians to feel they must change their greetings to "Happy Holidays" to keep from offending others. On the other hand, those who choose to offer that more general greeting also shouldn't be made to feel ostracized.
(The link is to my post from christmastime last year. Funny funny. We funny people. We rehash the same old arguments from year to year.)
I like the Alfred Tennyson quote I ended my post with last year:
"I am part of all that I have met"
Celebrating diversity means we should feel free to celebrate as we choose, and work to pass that freedom to others as well. No suppression, even for the majority.
Merry christmas!
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