life...as it goes on

Happy Halloween!!!!

Here's pic of my sweet trick or treaters:


I'm so lucky. These little tiny people make my life amazing. And Q does an awesome impression of Napoleon Dynamite. It's a little frightening.

...and another pic I got from a friend whose husband is in the military:


John Kerry - will you just please be quiet for a while? We were doing OK until you screwed up a joke that really wasn't very good in the first place. Just. - stop. OK?

So. I posted a few posts ago about change. Right? And I made the comment that change is the bane of my existance, the definition of all existance. It's all good. Right?

Gah. While at work, as WONDERBOY is kicking me and gaochen out of the research nest and is slowly forcing me to become an independent researcher without my safety net (him) firmly in grasp, my husband is out of a job as of December 1. (Company lost their contract...he'll end up being fine, I know, but it would be nice to KNOW know, ya know?) And my wonderful friends B&K, the folks down the road who are really part of my family, who are the people that we wrote into our wills as the ones we want to be guardians of our children, the ones who I have spent the last 10+ years with through infertility, through babies, through adoptions, through diapers and walking and vacations and hurricanes and thanksgivings and crying and laughing...through dinners and babysitting and phone calls and wine and margaritas made of melted lime popsicles, through birthdays and holidays and LIFE...(sigh). They're leaving. Probably this summer. And as a result, everything seems unstable right now. But CHANGE IS GOOD. Right? Isn't that the party line? *sob*

You know, change is good. I know that (theoretically). Change is newness. And as someone who came up with Nietzsches' theory of eternal return on her own during the grad-school years of exploratory thinking, I sometimes think about eternity and what that would mean for "change". It would essentially do away with it, as nothing would ever be new. After an infinite amount of time (in which, you realize every possible thing that could possibly happen will indeed happen and will in fact happen an INFINITE number of times...), the wonderful things about life - the wonder and magic and love we feel, the joy, the music, the fun...those would all be diminished by the sheer commoness...by the repetitiveness. Would we still be able to feel that flicker of joy at seeing our husband walk in the door if we saw the same thing an infinite number of times? Nothing would ever be new. Would we be able to fully experience love and excitement if we'd experienced the same things an endless number of times? (sigh) Me and Nietzsche. We are brother and sister in the theory of eternal recurrence,

So. Change is good then. Change is what makes life different. Change is what keeps things new. (sniff)

Excuse me while I go drink another glass of wine and watch the stars and speak to my soul mate Nietzsche. We will wallow in despair together and then will wake up to a new day and....just move on.